Sunday, 28 July 2013

30 Day Blog Challenge - Something I read online

Day 25 - Something I read online

Anyone who knows me, knows bears are my thing. My nickname is Clairebear, my boyfriend is a Benjibear. Yeah, we're sappy and don't care who knows it. We're also dog people. What the actual fuck are Royal Canin playing at? It was a mistake apparently. Well it's a bit of a biggie. I don't think it will deter most from buying their products, but I for one will be avoiding them like the plague until this is rectified. It's barbaric and I cannot believe that in 2013, this still happens in the world - and that's only the start. 

 What's everyone else reading?

30 Day Blog Challenge - Something that someone told me about myself.

I guess there are a lot of good and bad things I've been told about myself. Trouble is, it tends to be the bad things that stick in our memories; that's usually because all the worst things we think about ourselves are often overshadowed by the possibility that there is something even worse. 

I want to stick to the good things and not contradict any of them. I'm one of those people who will get a compliment and not take it. I hate that about myself. I really should have put that in my top three worst traits!

I have a nice smile. 

I am unique

I make people think differently. 

I am caring

I think those are the things I remember most. 

What's been said to the other ladies taking part in the 30 day blog challenge?

30 Day Blog Challenge - My top three worst traits

Day 24 - My top three worst traits. 

1. I am too open. It means I love to much, put too much trust into people and end up being let down because I give too easily. All this leads to number 2:

2. I moan too much. Well, some call it moaning, I call it grasping at straws so I can find out where I stand among the uncertainty of life. 

3. I laugh inappropriately. I always laugh when people fall over. I laugh when I fall over. It's pretty bad really, but I think I do it through nerves. I laugh to cover any kind of pain - especially emotionally just to convince myself I'm happy. 

See what the other lady's top traits are.

30 Day Blog challenge - Three things I've learned that school didn't teach me

Day 23 - Three things I've learned that school didn't teach me.

1. The first thing that sprang to mind was that not everyone thinks like me. I can't have expectations that everyone will want to agree or do the same as I would, because they're simply not me. I guess I now have 37 years experience behind me, and it took a LONG time for me to realise this. The thing is, none of us are immune from making bad decisions and even if you press your ideas and opinions onto someone because you have the benefit of experience, it doesn't mean they'll listen. They have to do what's right for them.

2. I grew up thinking I would be complete mother earth with my children once I had them. Being a mother is HARD. Being a mother to twins is HARD. Being a single mother is HARD. Being a single mother to twins is HARD. Being a single mother to twins, and one has a very serious health condition, plus autism and other (as yet) undiagnosed mental health issues is HARD. I've spent the last eleven years swimming in and out of severe depression. There was a time when I was still married and the kids were still toddlers that I was drinking heavily just to escape my head. I would work as often as possible just so I didn't have to go home. When I decided I didn't want to be married anymore, things didn't get easier, but they did improve. But it was a long, slow road. I've been officially divorced about three years, and it's only in the last 18 months I'd say I've totally come into my own. Some people do me down in that they don't approve of my opinions or maybe even how I handle the kids, but we are a happy little trio. One day I would love to have my boyfriend live with us all, but I want it to be perfect. I messed up big style last time and I don't want to go through that again. I always said I would never get married again, but the truth is I would love to one day. 

3. Don't put petrol in a diesel car. Never happened to me, but it's what my dad taught me! 

 See what the other ladies learned in the school of life!

Thursday, 25 July 2013

30 Day Blog Challenge - Rant about something

Day 22 - Rant about something.

Oh where do I begin? There's so much to say. These points are aimed at everyone, including me, because I've been guilty at one time or another.

1. Deleting people on Facebook because they disagree with your opinion. WTF is that all about? I can understand if they are spouting hatred, but when it's people you know and they just disagree with you or you disagree with their views? Get over yourselves. The intrinsic differences - whether mental or physical - are often what make us so interesting.

2. Ranting about the royals because they live a life of privilege and have more than we do. Who really gives a shit? They are part of our heritage, and I don't mind having them around. Hating on a newborn baby and then pretending you're not?  More 'get the fuck over yourselves.' They can't help being born into a life of privilege.

3. Making political statements when the policy you're banging on about doesn't affect you in any way; it's all because you hate authority. I am not enjoying our political leaders in the slightest, or any of their new found policies which DO affect me, but I also have more important things to worry about. Judge me because I don't take action, judge me because I complain about my lot in life, but don't take a look at yourselves in the process of doing me and others down? You're all off your rockers. I take action in my own right and in my own time. I don't need bullying into supporting the propaganda you create. I respect your right to protect your land, your money, and your family, but most of the time, you all seem like you do it because you think you're right about everything, when, in fact, you're wrong.

4. Cruel for the sake of being cruel. Why? What do you get out of it other than self gratification? Masturbation is quicker and more satisfying. 

5. Policing Facebook or any other social media and constantly complaining about what people are writing about. Rant in a blog. OR, better still, limit your rants and bitter spiel to a certain number of times a week. I hide your BS, you can hide other people's. Or, if you don't like someone, then I guess it's acceptable to remove them. Even better than that, bitch with a friend.

6. Don't write posts anywhere that you know will provoke a reaction and expect everyone to agree with you. Don't post if you don't want to have your opinion challenged. 

7. Ambiguity? Cries of 'Oh my God, I can't believe that just happened!' and then not explaining yourself. Why say it in the first place? It's attention seeking.

8. Mentioning your anatomy (you know who you are :P) in the public arena knowing exactly what it will bring and then act the innocent. It's Douchebaggery! 

9. Self aggrandising yourself constantly and looking down on people because you think you're better than the rest. You're not. You're not happy and exude hatred and think people like you. They don't. It's sociopathic behaviour and it's about time you all grew up! 

10. Don't complain about how unhappy you are and then do nothing about it. 

 View more rants from these lovely ladies:

Wednesday, 24 July 2013

30 Day Blog challenge - Links to my personal favourite posts.

Day 21 - Links to my stuff that I like!

What are everyone else's favourite posts? Find out here:


30 Day Blog Challenge - Get Real. Something I'm struggling with right now.

 Day 20 - Getting Real.

I already talked about my son's health, so what do I talk about now? My concerns about leaving Harry feeling left out because I have to spend so much time with Charlie? I feel like that's recent old news. How about my financial struggles? Man, that bores me, so I know you don't want to hear it. I'm settling on my weight. My struggle with weight and body confidence and people's attitude to weight and size.

In my eyes (and I stress that it's in my eyes), I was never slim or thin. Of course, knowing what I know now, I know that's absolute bollocks. There was a time you could have posted me through a letterbox with air to spare. I only wish upon wish that I had valued and appreciated what I had back in my late teens, and again in my early-mid twenties. Maybe I wouldn't be sat here now writing about it. The trouble is, not all of us are built with an athletic build, or naturally great muscle tone. Some of us have to work really hard to even lose a pound. Sometimes it feels unfair and unjust, but it feels even worse when you're told you can't do it, you'll never do it, or you'll always be porky. 'Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!' That's all I have for the doubters. 

As a race, we humans like to point out the obvious without ever considering the consequences of our words and the impact they have on a person's soul. We are ALL guilty of it one way or another, or at one time or another. There are vast cases of the pot calling the kettle, tit for tat, and downright bullying whatever your size. Why are any of us standing for it? I read a brilliantly written blog the other day that raved about body confidence, but in the same breath, it was mentioned that losing weight was for losers. It wasn't quite put like that, and I can't even recall who it was written by, but the fact is, telling someone not to lose weight because you're fat and you like it, doesn't make it right for the next person. My sister is bigger than me. She is confident with her body because her husband loves her just the way she is, but she has to lose weight if she wants to have a better chance of conceiving. It's that simple and she knows this. However, she has basically been told she's not even fat enough to be part of the plus size community by some and is worried on some levels about being outcast from the community she's come to love. Bollocks. Fat and a healthy attitude are not mutually exclusive; neither is thin and being a bitch. There's attitude and then there's Attitude. One is positive, one isn't. The road you take is up to you. Your attitude makes you everything you are. Anger and negativity to people who are different to you, or who maybe even see you differently to themselves does not make you beautiful; nor does it make you right. Your soul does that, and if your soul isn't shining like a beacon, then maybe you should be questioning yourself instead of accusing and ostracising someone based on their weight and/or looks or how they may have treated you in the past. Telling someone not to lose weight is just as bad as telling someone they must. Of course, there are absolutely extreme cases on both ends of the spectrum that do require intervention, but for the most part, what bloody business is it of anyone's but our own?

I am fat. I am comfortable with the word because that's what I see when I look in the mirror. I see chub, I see flub, and I see the world atlas drawn on my stomach, thighs and butt. But, fuck, I am proud of it. I don't always like what I see, but I earned every line, every aching, itching stretch mark is testament to carrying my beautiful twins all those eleven years ago. Are they to blame for the flub and chub? No way. Bed rest and too many crisps are. So is being lazy, eating and drinking too much is also to blame. I am the way I am because I put myself here, and now I'm doing something about it. I would love to plus size blog, but what about when I'm no longer plus size? Who caters for the people on the other side or in between? This is why my blog is a 'mixed bag'. I love that my sister called it that. It's why I like this blog by Georgina. There's no real distinction between fat and thin. My sister is as she is and she's blogging about what she loves: fashion. And she's plus size. George is doing exactly the same and telling everyone whether you're fat or thin, you are still a woman with your own shape and you should embrace it. I adore the idea of plus size fashion. I love all the ladies who blog below. I love fashion. I don't love attitude based on bad experience that tarnishes too many people. I have thin friends who still think they're fat, and I'm all, 'Please, love, let me show you my overhang and then we'll talk.' But the fact is, any woman of any size can have body confidence issues. We should all respect that. ALL OF US. 

I will probably always struggle with my weight, and I will never be completely comfortable with what I see, but I work on that daily. I'm losing weight, because when I'm walking up the stairs and am out of breath half way up, with creaking knees and perspiration; it's time to act. I joined Slimming World and I am loving it.

I am also very blessed to have a man in my life who loves me regardless, he strokes my stretch marks with fascinated abandon, and he makes me feel good. I no longer have a husband who tells me he doesn't love the 'parts of me' (ie. the fat) he didn't marry and making me feel like shit. Getting shot of that negativity was half the battle. Be who you want to be, but don't judge someone because of their size. It's child's play. Embrace the differences.

 Don't forget to check out the other ladies getting real. I haven't had a chance to read them yet, so you can test me later!